Follow my unexpected cancer journey...the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Ellen, Where Are You?!
A little bit of this and that with some updates.
Why yes, I have been MIA/slacking on my blog. I have no good excuse. I would like to say that Cancer/Chemo has a lot of symptoms:
~I can deal with the nausea
~I can deal with the headaches
~I can deal with the nonstop fatigue/tiredness
~I can deal with my tastebuds being on protest and everything tasting horrible
~I can deal with my whole body hurting and being swollen
~I can deal with the ends of every finger being numb 24/7
I can deal with all these symptoms and more...but what has gotten me the worst is the depression. Man, is it brutal. On the rare occasion I do feel like I can do anything and break my house arrest, you just don't want to. You're always upset, angry, or sad because....well everything. Obviously, cancer turns your whole life upside down and it sucks. Yes, many people say to enjoy my break while I can yada yada... but this is the worst break ever. Cancer/chemo not only effects you physically, but mentally, emotionally, and most of all financially. Not having an income has to be the worst thing ever. So theres my pity party for 1.....
A few updates:
~Good news, my last chemo is actually December 1st so earlier than I had thought/planned, so hopefully by Christmas I'll feel decent
~I'm in week 1 of my labs/drs...after next week I will officially be halfway
~I started working for VIPKID to attempt to make at least a little money and my first class is Friday
~My levels have been good so my chemo was upped (my symptoms are unfortunately always the worst the first few days after chemo)
~I've taken up sewing....yes, sewing, you read right and don't judge...the whole fingertips being numb doesn't help but oh well, it burns time
What makes me feel sane or like a normal person?! Watching Ellen everyday and at least getting to laugh for an hour out of my day : )
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"You either get bitter or you get better. It's that simple. You either take what's been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you."